Zodiac animals, Naruto style
by natcat5
Summary: What if the twelve gennin of Konoha went on a mission together? What if they got hit with a strange smoke? What if this smoke had really weird side effects? Whatever you do, don't bump into one another!
1. Chapter 1

**This is a little crack fic I'm working on. It's mostly to just alleviate stress and have a little fun with my writing, so I'm not going to be updating it consistently. **

***Disclaimer **

**I don't own Naruto....if I did, Naruto would actually **_**notice **_**Hinata. **

_The reason you don't leave Naruto and Sasuke alone....._

Kakashi Sensei turned his head to look at the twelve youths following him.

Directly behind him were Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura, the two boys running as far away from each other as possible, Sakura in the middle, looking lost and downright depressed. Behind them came the Ino-Shika-Cho formation, all three of them grumbling about being dragged along. Behind them came Lee, Ten Ten and Neji. Lee, of course, prattling on about youth, Ten Ten itching for a fight, and Neji staring ahead, completely focused. Last came Shino, Hinata, and Kiba, Shino stoic as usual, Hinata trying to focus, but being distracted by her constant view of Naruto's rear end, and Kiba bursting with excitement.

Kakashi sighed. Volunteering to take twelve young ninja out into the field, by himself wasn't one of his better plans. But he knew that all the youth needed some relaxation after the stress of the Chunnin exams and the attack that had taken place during them. He'd also organized this trip as a way to try and ease the tension between Sasuke and Naruto, after the two of them had almost killed each other on the Hospital roof. He'd invited the other gennin (and Shikamaru) along to make sure there were never any awkward silences, and to establish a happy, friend filled environment. It seemed to be working; at least, Naruto and Sasuke hadn't started throwing Rasengans and Chidoris around.

The mission was simple, scout out a workshop that appeared out of nowhere near a village border. The building seemed harmless enough, perhaps inhabited by a hermit or such, but the village people reported hearing explosions and smelling weird aromas coming from the hut. Two people had been sent to investigate, but hadn't returned. Two more people had then been dispatched, with the same result. The village had then decided to call in the ninja.

Kakashi didn't like travelling with such a large team, but investigating a small hut, probably inhabited by a crazy old man, perhaps an old scientist, didn't seem that big of a deal. And besides, the kids needed to get out.

"Kakashi, I smell something weird up ahead," said Kiba, Akamaru barking in agreement from where he was snuggled in the boy's jacket. Neji and Hinata both nodded their consent. "There's some weird concentration of chakra close by...it may not even be chakra," said Neji, narrowing his pupil-less eyes. "What do you mean by that?" asked Ino, annoyed at his cryptic observation. "H-he means that it has the...the same properties as chakra but, I-I, w-we don't think it...i-it doesn't s-seem like it works the same," stuttered Hinata, blushing as several eyes turned to her.

"Well," said Kakashi, returning his gaze to the front. "That's certainly interesting. Alright, I want to form a ring around the area, Neji, Hinata, Kiba, Sasuke at the front, the rest of you flanking them. You four will advance first, scoping out the area and checking for anyone inside. If there's someone there, I want you to signal Shikamaru and me, who will then advance to see if we can talk to whoever's inside. If there's nobody, signal all of us and we'll advance together. Got it?"

"Hai!" responded the group, Neji, Hinata and Kiba moving up the front and everyone else falling back.

A medium sized hut, in the middle of a clearing came into view. Neji, Hinata, Kiba, and Sasuke took four points around it, observing it with their various methods. Neji and Hinata used the Byakugan, Kiba and Akamaru began doing a very in-depth search of the place by scent alone, and Sasuke searched for movement of any kind with his Sharingan.

There were as a minute of tense silence, the rest of the group waiting tensely several metres sback. Then, there was a bark from Akamaru, and Sasuke and Neji's hands were clearly waving them all forward. Everyone advanced, and soon, the thirteen ninja were situated at various points around the clearing.

"What now sensei? If nobody's in there, what're we hanging around here for?! We should go in!" exclaimed Naruto in his overly loud voice. Sasuke's head snapped towards the blonde. "Just because no _person's _there doesn't mean that there's no danger dobe. Grow up and start acting like a ninja!" he snarled. Naruto bristled. "Listen teme,"

"Stop it, both of you," growled Kakashi. Naruto narrowed his eyes indignantly. "But he-!"

"Naruto," said Kakashi sternly. The gennin fell silent, muttering crossly to himself. Inwardly, Kakashi sighed. _Getting those two on speaking terms is not going to be easy..._

Suddenly, a weird, moaning sound came from deep within the forest. The shinobi immediately whirled around, weapons at the ready.

"What _is _that?!" said Ten Ten. "It sounds like Chouji when he hasn't had his seventh meal of the day," muttered Kiba. "Sensei?" asked Sakura, turning to Kakashi with wide eyes. Kakashi's visible eye narrowed. "Alright, you guys stay here, and don't do _anything. _I'll be right back," he said, before disappearing into the forest.

There was silence.

"Well he left pretty quickly. What are we supposed to do? This mission is stupid," said Ino grumpily. Shikamaru sighed and sat down on the grass. "This is such a drag. When can we go back to the village? If there's nobody here than there's nobody here," he said lazily. Neji, Kiba and Chouji nodded their agreement. Lee, however, had other thoughts. "Are you kidding? This is the perfect time to revel in our youth! What better way to let our youthfulness flourish and grow then to participate in a youthful mission with other youths?!" he said, his eyes sparkling with passion. Ten Ten groaned, having heard one youth speech to many, and Neji let his forehead fall into his palm. Sakura sighed and began to pace back and forth. "I don't like waiting, we should do something! I hate just sitting around..." she said, casting a worried glance at Naruto and Sasuke, who were glaring at each other heatedly.

_Oh, Kakashi Sensei..._she thought worriedly, _get back soon. Sitting around is not doing those two any good...._

"Listen teme, if you know what's good for you, you'll stop glaring at me like that!" growled Naruto, eyes narrowing his eyes.

_Oh shoot...._thought Sakura, noticing the fire beginning to flare up in both boys' eyes.

For once, Sasuke didn't greet Naruto's outburst with stony silence. "I'll look at you whichever way I want, you good for nothing dobe!" he snarled, his onyx eyes smouldering.

"G-guys! P-please stop!" stammered Sakura, an intense feeling of dread growing deep in her gut. Naruto and Sasuke completely ignored that pink-haired girl.

"Who's a good for nothing dobe!" snarled Naruto, clenching his fists. Sasuke curled his lips scornfully. "You are!" he spat.

"Well, this good for nothing dobe beat your ass, so I guess I'm not so bad after all!" retorted Naruto with a smirk.

The other genin (and Shikamaru) could practically feel the wrath rolling off Sasuke as he took a threatening step towards the blonde-haired shinobi.

"You did nothing of the sort! You could never defeat _me! _Never!" he snarled, leaping at Naruto. Naruto leapt out of the way, and whirled around, aiming a kick at Sasuke's side. The Uchiha barely dodged it, and landed awkwardly, stumbling towards the hut.

Sasuke's eyes widened in panic as he felt his foot sink a little into the ground, a sure indication that he'd activated a trap. A whirring sound filled the air and he leapt back.

"What's that?" asked Ten Ten, drawing two kunai from one of her various weapon pouches.

"I dunno," said Kiba, "But I think we should-,"

The dog boy got no farther as the hut exploded, enveloping the Shinobi in an odd, lavender coloured smoke.

**Teehee, okay, pretty much an uneventful first chapter, more like a prologue than anything. But don't worry, if all goes as plan, the next chapter will be....GREAT! And by great, I mean hilarious. It will probably be up soon, seeing as I've already written it! **

**xoxo, natcat5 ;p **

**Read, enjoy and review! Seriously, review, before I come after you with a rusty spoon. **


	2. WhatThe Hell?

**Bwahaha! And so it begins! This chapter begins it all...and I'm quite proud of it if I may say so myself....**

***Disclaimer. **

**It's pretty obvious I don't own Naruto. If I did, Naruto would have whipped Sasuke's ass a long time ago.... **

_WHAT.....THE HELL? _

"What the hell?! I can't see a thing!"

"Then stop flailing about like that dobe! That's the second time you've run into me!"

"Gah! This smoke's messing up my nose! And Akamaru's too!"

"I-It's b-blocking the B-Byakugan!"

"Gah! This is so troublesome...."

"Hey! Forehead girl! Where's your good for nothing sensei? He should be here!"

"Listen Ino pig, Kakashi sensei is probably busy with whatever made that noise..."

"My bugs....the smoke is confusing them..."

"How interesting! This smoke is interfering with our youthful adven- OW! Ten Ten! Why must you halt the progress of youth with your painful blows?"

"Look....it's clearing..."

The genin (and Shikamaru) fell silent as the lavender smoke dissipated, leaving them in the empty clearing, the hut having completely disappeared, not even an indenture in the grass to show that it had been there.

Naruto frowned, peering at the spot where the hut had been. His eyes widened.

"That's so weird! It's completely gone! How does that happen?" he exclaimed, scratching the back of his head. A vein popped up on Sakura's forehead. "Well, it wouldn't have happened if you and Sasuke hadn't been fighting! Kakashi's going to kill us! We made the hut disappear!" said Sakura with a pout. Naruto glared at Sasuke. "Way to go teme!" he sneered. Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "What makes you think it's myfault?" he snarled. Naruto narrowed his eyes and marched towards the Uchiha. "Listen teme-," the blonde-haired troublemaker broke off as he tripped over a rock, causing him to crash into Sasuke.

Then, something strange happened.

The boys were suddenly enveloped in a cloud of the same lavender smoke, which quickly cleared, to reveal....

"OH MY GOD! NARUTO AND SASUKE MELTED!!!!!" cried Ino, pointing at the pile of empty clothes on the ground where the boys had stood a moment before.

"What....the hell?" said Shikamaru, scratching his head.

Suddenly, the clothes began to move, and a small furry head popped out of the mound of orange, while a long snake wriggled out of the pile of black. The monkey was golden in colour, with the fur on it's head spiked in a manner similar to Naruto's, and it had the same whisker marks as the missing gennin as well as the same cerulean eyes.

The snake was black, with a gray and white underbelly. Its eyes were onyx, and it had a weird spike on its head the jutted out in the same manner a Sasuke's duckbutt hair cut. The other ten gennin (and Shikamaru) stared at the two creatures in confusion.

"What's going on!" cried the monkey in Naruto's raspy voice. "Why are my hands furry? Why am I so small? Where are my clothes? Why are you all staring? What's going on!!!" he screeched, waving his hands about in a panic.

"I'm....a snake," said Sasuke slowly, attempting to slither forward but mostly waving back and forth without any progress.

"Sasuke?! Naruto?!" cried Ino and Sakura, clutching each other in terror.

Then, they too, were enveloped in lavender smoke, which cleared to reveal...

A large pink lizard, with leathery wings folded against its back. It had green eyes, and a crest that fell around its neck in the same manner as Sakura's hair. Beside it was a rat, golden in colour, with a small ponytail and Ino's small eyes.

The two of them seemed to be in shock, sitting in a pile of their clothes. The other children remained silent, Naruto and Sasuke included.

"...I-Ino? S-Sakura?" stammered Hinata, staring at the dragon and rat in shock. Kiba backed away, obviously afraid of suffering the same fate as the other four. He back up so quickly that he didn't see Neji and Hinata behind him...

There was another poof of lavender smoke, and in the place of Kiba, Neji and Hinata was a dog, a rabbit, and a lamb.

The dog was brown with the fur on its head spiked like Kiba's and with red patches of fur on its face, the same as the dog boy's face markings.

The rabbit was light gray in colour, with a patch of dark brown fur running from the top of its head to fall into a ponytail that hung over its shoulder. Its eyes were white and pupil less.

The lamb was white, with purpley blue wool on its head that fell in front of its face, partially obscuring its lavender, pupil less eyes.

There was silence in the clearing.

"Okay," said Shikamaru. "Obviously that smoke did something to us that cause us to turn into animals. Naruto's been turned into a monkey, Sasuke's a snake, Sakura is what appears to be a small dragon, Ino's a rat..." The blonde rat wailed in horror, "Kiba's a dog, Hinata's a lamb and Neji's a rabbit," finished the chunnin.

Lee laughed and knelt down in front of Neji.

"Look at you Neji-kun! You're such a cute little youthful bunny rabbit!" he said with a sparkly grin.

"This...is so degrading," muttered Neji.

"Wah! Why am I a monkey?! This is so weird!" wailed Naruto.

"At least you have...limbs," hissed Sasuke, still attempting to move.

"I'm a horrible, scaly beast!" wailed Sakura. Then, she flapped her wings experimentally and her look of horror was replaced with an intrigued one. "...but I wonder if I can fly..."

"I'm a rat! A filthy rat! Why am I a rat?! This is soo unfair!" cried Ino, sitting down on the ground despondently.

"Cool! I'm a dog like you Akamaru!" said Kiba, trotting over to sniff noses with his partner. Akamaru barked excitedly at the sight of his master in the same form as him, and the two of them ran excited circles around each other.

"I'm glad someone's enjoying this," muttered Neji, extremely upset about his form. I mean, really, a _bunny rabbit? _

Hinata said nothing, blushing profusely as she tried to hide herself underneath her clothes, feeling naked, wool, or no wool.

"So, the rest of us just have to not touch each other?" said Ten Ten, looking at her transformed comrades with apprehension. Shikamaru nodded. "I think so. They seemed to change whenever they came in contact with another person. Naruto bumped into Sasuke..."

"Nice going dobe," hissed the snake.

"...Sakura and Ino hugged each other...."

"Does that mean we can't ever hug Sasuke-kun again?" wailed Ino.

"...and Kiba bumped into Neji and Hinata."

"Stupid dog," mumbled Neji, still put out about his appearance.

"Okay," said Ten Ten, blowing out a sigh. "Nobody touch me! I hate animals with a passion and the last thing I want to do is turn into one!" she commanded sternly. Lee, however, had other thoughts.

"I can't help but to wonder....what type of youthful animal would I turn into?" he said, tapping his chin thoughtfully. Suddenly, the spandex clad boy leapt up, his eyes sparkling. "Comrades, I will join you on your youthful journey to uncover the hidden beast within me!" he said, "And Ten Ten will join me!"

Ten Ten whirled around in horror, seeing Lee rushing towards her, his arms spread wide. Her brown eyes widened.

"Oh hell no-,"

There was a pouf of lavender smoke as Lee embraced Ten Ten, and when it cleared there was a horse and a large cat where Lee and Ten Ten had stood.

The horse was tan in colour, with a thatch of bowl shaped hair on the top of its head. It had Lee's wide, sparkly eyes and crazy grin.

The cat was large, reaching up to about mid-thigh on Shikamaru. It was a mottled brown, with darker brown stripes. Its ears were extremely rounded, resembling Ten Ten's buns, and it had her enraged expression.

"Lee, I swear to God, I'm going to tear you into little _youthful _pieces!" she snarled, brandishing her new fangs and claws threateningly. Lee however, paid her no mind, too preoccupied with his new form.

"Look how youthful I am! I am a youthful stallion, filled to the brim with youth! Look how majestic and youthful I am! Neji-kun, do you see how youthful and great your companions have become?" said Lee, every inch of his new form sparkling.

Neji didn't say anything, more embarrassed by his rabbit-ness then ever, seeing Lee as a majestic stallion and Ten Ten as a dangerous Tigress.

"This is so troublesome...." muttered Shikamaru, letting his head fall into his hand. At this point only, he, Chouji and Shino were still human.

But not for long....

Chouji, suddenly possessed by a streak of curiosity and mischievousness, grinned evilly, and grabbed Shino by the coat and Shikamaru by the ponytail, enveloping them both in a large bear hug.

There was a puff of lavender smoke, and the three boys were replaced by a boar, a rooster, and a cow.

The boar had a Mohawk of reddish brown hair that jutted out at the sides, like Chouji's, and two red swirls of fur on its cheeks.

The rooster was brown, with black feathers replacing the usual red ones. The feathers on its head jutted out into what looked like a ponytail, with the same pineapple puff as Shikamaru's.

The cow was black, with a white face and underbelly. Two black splotches were over its eyes, resembling Shino's sunglasses, which, mysteriously, weren't in his pile of clothes...

"I am....mad," said Shino, turning to glare at Chouji. The Akimichi was staring at his form in horror. "A...pig?" he said with a sob. "I am NOT a pig!"

Naruto and Kiba snickered, seeing Chouji freaking out at being a pig.

Shikamaru sighed. "So...troublesome. I don't even know how to sit down...."

"This is horrible! We're all animals! What are we supposed to do now?!" cried Ino, flailing her tiny arms about.

"Must...learn...to move...." said Sasuke, still trying (without much luck) to slither forwards.

"I can't believe I'm a rotten furballed, banana eating monkey!" said Naruto despondently.

"At least you have opposable thumbs!" growled Ten Ten. "I swear Lee..."

"I will certainly be able to go at extreme youthful speeds in this youthful form! I can't wait to show Gai Sensei this new, even more youthful side of me!" exclaimed Lee.

"Ugh...what's Kakashi sensei going to say...we really messed up..." muttered Sakura.

"This...is more troublesome then I could have ever imagined..." muttered Shikamaru, attempting to lie on the grass but mostly just floundering on his side.

_How do I sit down? _He thought with an internal sigh.

"This is so cool!" cried Kiba, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Hinata remained silent, buried in the mound of her clothes. Shino was also silent, glaring as he was at Chouji, who was blubbering over and over again: "I am not a pig! I am not a pig! I am not a PIG!"

Neji was also silent, sitting quietly in a dark cloud of despair, brought about by his....rabbitness.

It was at this moment that Kakashi jumped into the clearing.

"Sorry, I got sidetracked by a lost little gi-," the white haired shinobi froze.

"Um..." he said, staring at the monkey, snake, dragon, rat, dog, rabbit, lamb, horse, tiger, rooster, boar, and cow, all of which closely resembled his twelve charges.

"What's....going on?"

**And there you go! **

**Yes, this is a Fruits Basket parody. **

**I actually matched the animals with the personalities of the kids. So, yeah, Chouji's not a boar just because he likes to eat. He's a boar because he has characteristics of someone born in the year of the Boar. If you want, I'll post the definitions of the twelve zodiac signs and the personalities that go along with them on an upcoming chapter, in case you disagree with the animals I chose for each person. The matches aren't perfect, but I did the best I could! In some cases, some aspects of the character's personality matched that of the zodiac sign completely, but other aspects were completely different. But, again, I did the best I could!**

**Plus, I really wanted to make Neji a rabbit...teehee. **

**Teehee, the hilarity will continue....eventually. Like I said, this is mostly to alleviate stress, so I won't be updating it consistently, but I will update! .....At some point....**

**Review! My rusty spoon is still at the ready! **

**xoxo, natcat5 ;p **


	3. Explanations for the animals

**So, I decided to post the thingamajigs I used to assign an animal to each person....did you know that thingamajig is a word? When I wrote it the little squiggly red line that appears when a word is wrong or non-existent didn't appear! So thingamajig's a word! That's so weird! **

**Ahem. Anyways.....**

**Dog**

People born in the Year of the Dog have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest, and inspire other people's confidence. But Dog People are somewhat selfish, terribly stubborn, and eccentric. They care little for wealth, yet somehow always seem to have money. They can be cold emotionally and sometimes distant at parties. They can find fault with many things and are noted for their sharp tongues.

**Rat**

People born in the Year of the Rat are noted for their charm and attraction for the opposite sex. They work hard to achieve their goals, acquire possessions, and are likely to be perfectionists. They are basically thrifty with money. Rat people are easily angered and love to gossip. Their ambitions are big, and they are usually very successful.

**Ox (cow) **

People born in the Year of the Ox are patient, speak little, and inspire confidence in others. They tend, however, to be eccentric, and bigoted, and they anger easily. They have fierce tempers and although they speak little, when they do they are quite eloquent. Ox people are mentally and physically alert. They can be remarkably stubborn, and they hate to fail or be opposed.

**Tiger**

Tiger people are sensitive, given to deep thinking, capable of great sympathy. They can be extremely short-tempered, however. Other people have great respect for them, but sometimes tiger people come into conflict with older people or those in authority. Sometimes Tiger people cannot make up their minds, which can result in a poor, hasty decision or a sound decision arrived at too late. They are suspicious of others, but they are courageous and powerful.

**Rabbit**

People born in the Year of the Rabbit are articulate, talented, and ambitious. They are virtuous, reserved, and have excellent taste. Rabbit people are admired, trusted, and are often financially lucky. They are fond of gossip but are tactful. Rabbit people seldom lose their temper.

**Dragon**

People born in the Year of the Dragon are healthy, energetic, excitable, short-tempered, and stubborn. They are also honest, sensitive, brave, and they inspire confidence and trust. Dragon people are the most eccentric of any in the eastern zodiac. They neither borrow money nor make flowery speeches, but they tend to be soft-hearted which sometimes gives others an advantage over them.

**Snake**

People born in the Year of the Snake are deep. They say little and possess great wisdom. They never have to worry about money; they are financially fortunate. Snake people are often quite vain, selfish, and a bit stingy. Yet they have tremendous sympathy for others and try to help those less fortunate. Snake people tend to overdo, since they have doubts about other people's judgment and prefer to rely on themselves. They are determined in whatever they do and hate to fail. Although calm on the surface, they are intense and passionate. Snake people are usually good-looking.

**Horse**

People born in the Year of the Horse are popular. They are cheerful, skillful with money, and perceptive, although they sometimes talk too much. They are wise, talented, good with their hands, and sometimes have a weakness for members of the opposite sex. They are impatient and hot-blooded about everything except their daily work. They like entertainment and large crowds. They are very independent and rarely listen to advice.

**Ram (lamb)**

People born in the Year of Ram are elegant and highly accomplished in the arts. They seem to be, at first glance, better off than those born in the zodiac's other years. But ram year people are often shy, pessimistic, and puzzled about life. They are timid by nature. Sometimes clumsy in speech, they are always passionate about what they do and what they believe in. Ram people never have to worry about having the best in life for their abilities make money for them, and they are able to enjoy the creature comforts that they like. Ram people are wise, gentle, and compassionate.

**Monkey**

People born in the Year of the Monkey are the erratic geniuses of the cycle. Clever, skillful, and flexible, they are remarkably inventive and original and can solve the most difficult problems with ease. They want to do things now, and if they cannot get started immediately, they become discouraged and sometimes leave their projects. Having common sense, Monkey people have a deep desire for knowledge and have excellent memories. Monkey people are strong willed but their anger cools quickly.

**Rooster**

People born in the Year of the Rooster are deep thinkers, capable, and talented. They are devoted beyond their capabilities and are deeply disappointed if they fail. People born in the Rooster Year are often a bit eccentric, and often have rather difficult relationship with others. They always think they are right and usually are! They frequently are loners and though they give the outward impression of being adventurous, they are timid. Rooster people's emotions like their fortunes swing very high to very low.

**Pig/Boar**

People born in the Year of the Pig are chivalrous and gallant. Whatever they do, they do with all their strength. For Boar Year people, there is no left or right and there is no retreat. They have tremendous fortitude and great honesty. They don't make many friends but they make them for life, and anyone having a Boar Year friend is fortunate for they are extremely loyal. They don't talk much but have a great thirst for knowledge. They study a great deal and are generally well informed. Boar people are quick tempered, yet they hate arguments and quarreling. They are kind to their loved ones. No matter how bad problems seem to be, Boar people try to work them out, honestly if sometimes impulsively.

**So, ahem, there you go. Not perfect matches, but the best I could do. The next chapter might not be out for awhile, so be patient! **

**xoxo, natcat5 ;p**


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